Reflecting on Wednesday Night

Over hotel coffee, WAY too early Thursday morning.

Things I did on my first night back at the Chili Bowl in 6 years:

Got kidnapped by Tulsa's only cab

Made up an elaborate story to explain my absence for past 6 years. It included smashing a 40 oz beer bottle over Lacy's head and a subsequent arrest warrant. A lot of people bought it.

Accidentally took video I can never share when I was supposed to be taking photos I can never share

Texted my brother to tell him I was legally changing his name to Titsqueak

Said something so awful and mean that my new stock car driver friend (Stock Car Driver) tried to flee the car in middle of Yale

Spent way too much time in a bar next to a creepy all-night massage parlor, using the words "nipple", "quarters", and "fire" way too many times

Performed an illegal marriage ceremony in our hotel bar

Convinced Stock Car Driver my name has a silent Y and shamed him into apologizing for spelling it wrong

Counseled a bartender on her lifelong fear of the Golden Driller by making her confront my giant Golden driller beverage container/piggy bank. Which is the greatest thing I've ever purchased at a race track.

Broke Lacy's finger (and not with a 40 oz beer bottle)

Added 3 new Blackberry Messenger buddies, 2 of whom I remember this morning

Granted a hotel bar marriage annulment



Sent from my Sweet Mobile Internet Robot.