I picked up the key to my new place on Monday night. I have a complicated relationship with keys. That's the opening line of a post I haven't finished yet.
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I'm having a bad week in a multitude of different ways. Moving stress, life stress, work stress, side-project stress, getting older stress. It all culminated last night at around 9 pm when I was puking up my toenails in the Stately Manor bathroom, for no other reason than stress. This morning, I looked in the mirror, examined the damage - I annihilate every blood vessel around my eyes when I vomit, so I look like I've been in a title fight - I thought "Yeah, this is a breaking point."
So I'm about to get really fucking selfish for awhile. More selfish than some view me already. I'm probably not going to have time or patience for your bullshit for awhile. I'm probably going to put a little less love out there when I know I'm going to get kicked in the teeth for it. Maybe I'll be more like a Jennifer, maybe I'll give you my pencil, but not my kidney this time. Your lack of planning will not become my emergency anymore, not for awhile. Not until I can get through a day without having so much awfulness boiling inside of me that it has to be purged somehow.
And you'll all just have to fucking deal with that. The time has come.
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I will be turning 29 on Saturday. I'm celebrating in a couple of different ways which I've selfishly organized myself. I've spent years throwing really big birthday parties for a significant other and spending my own birthday quite lonely, and it's a sensitive subject. But I refuse to be lonely this year. I'll be at Vic & Jim's at 8 pm on Friday night. Any and all of you are welcome to come buy me a beer. Amy of the Ooops Sisters will be in town from Boston for the weekend, and she and Marc and I will be headed to Milwaukee on Saturday night for the Avett Brothers concert. There will be a gathering at the Milwaukee Ale House before the show, so if you're in the Milwaukee area, you're welcome to join me there as well.
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This week, years past:
2009: I made anonymous phone calls. Or at least daydreamed about them.
2008: Duke and I threw a 1986 Superbowl party.
2007: I gave up Jello-wrestling for Lent.
2006: I finally got a speeding ticket, the 12th time I'd been pulled over.




Entries

Mare
03/04/2010 11:34AM
Enjoy 29. Prime number years are important -- they become less frequent as we age. Being 31 (at least till Tuesday) I can attest to the next also being a good one.
Jane
03/04/2010 01:22PM
Priszm
Homepage
03/04/2010 11:39AM
Jane
03/04/2010 05:09PM
Wrlow
03/04/2010 12:50PM
Jane
03/04/2010 05:11PM
amy
03/04/2010 02:14PM
And let's official declare this the year of Duchess Jane Getting What She Wants and Deserves.
Jane
03/04/2010 04:18PM
kevin eckert
Homepage
03/04/2010 06:02PM
scott
03/04/2010 07:53PM
D was telling me about a friend who is in a nasty divorce and wants to re-start her "just me" life. The one that has the support of others to make it on her own.
Go, and take some time to yourself. For yourself. Again, like Eckert said, you won't be alone. There's a bunch of us scattered around out here that don't care to bring you our dramas to quell, our fears to calm, our mundane existences to embellish. We live life. And we take something from the perspective from which you share yours. Thanks for that and more.
We'll see you around this summer. And we'll enjoy it.
Boom
03/04/2010 09:10PM
And start exercising. And taking vitamins.
Sarcasm fuels me. Smooch.
BLC
03/04/2010 10:00PM
jessie
03/07/2010 06:25PM
jessie
03/07/2010 06:26PM