Take No Prisoners: April 1st

This week's Prisoner's post will be 24 hours early,  because April 1st is a difficult day for me and what I want to start with will be so much harder to say tomorrow. 

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He came into my life in the infancy of my independent personhood, and he changed everything I thought about everything, he made me want more, need more, love at the highest volume, dream in the brightest colors, and believe in my own ability to demand what I deserved.  And then he left.  On April 1st.  Over a decade later, it's hard not to believe that it's still just a cruel joke.

time flies and you just know
it's time to think about letting go
times I even forget to be blue
but I have not forgotten
I have not forgotten
I have not forgotten you

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V4M and I finally have racing stuff to discuss besides Jeremy Mayfield:

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The following conversation is very representative of the majority of my conversations with BLC.  If you've ever wondered "What do BLC and Jane have in common?  What do they talk about?"  99% of it looks like this:

BLC: pooped in the woods

Jane: excuse me?

BLC: sorry... that was meant for amy.  she took the day off

Jane: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANY MORE DETAILS

BLC: lol.  not talking about Hot Carls or Cleveland Steamers

Jane: STOP RIGHT NOW

BLC: she just asked if the dog pooped today and i sometimes mix-up my IM windows

Jane: I'm going to randomly IM people all day with "pooped in the woods"

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I have a very good friend going through a tough time right now, and I've found myself thinking of one night last October when I was going through a rough patch myself and I sent him a text from the East Village saying "I'm thinking about getting a tattoo before I come home" and he replied back with an immediate, urgent, all-caps "NO TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS".

Sometimes life sucks and despite a million offers from people who want to "be there", there's nothing that anybody can do except attempt to confine the inevitable damage to a smaller footprint.  Life can be writing a tragedy across our skin, and no matter how much our friends love us and wish they could rewrite it, the best that can be done is a gentle reminder before the pen starts the next stroke.

Life is hard.  Some choices last longer than others and are harder to clean up.  No Taylor Swift lyrics. 

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I have a fun weekend planned.  I would tell you more about it, but that will bring me to a whole new level of nervousness, self-doubt, and neurosis.  Instead, I will just say that I'm looking forward to it, and that it will be one more question The Universe posed that I answered with a bold and resounding "I'm not saying no." 

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This week, years past:

2009:  Louise was born.

2008:  I wrote the post that resulted in the 2nd biggest question that lands people on this website via search engines:  What is/how do I eat a pummelo?

2007:  I reflected on a tough road trip.

2006:  I'm linking to a comment this time, not the actual post.  Four years later, I still repeat this line in my head whenever I talk about how a person would/should/could be that would make things better.  "But then he'd be an entirely different person."  Thanks, Monka.