Condoms Don't Prevent Lyme Disease

As somebody who still occasionally listens to country music (just in case something good comes out of Nashville) (which only happens once a decade or so these days), I feel like it's my right . . . no, it's my DUTY, to point out certain songs that are so ridiculously stupid that I feel like my IQ dropped just by listening.

This morning as I flipped through the stations, I stopped on a country station as they were leading into Brad Paisley's "Ticks" and I thought "Gee, what an unusual name for a song. He can't possibly be singing about blood-sucking bugs, can he? No. They wouldn't sink that low, would they?"

Indeed they have. The newest pickup line in redneck bars all across this great land of ours: "I want to check you for ticks."

The song can be played from the soundtrack above, but I don't recommend it. Lyrics are here.

Posted by

Jane

in Music & Poetry on 04-04-07 at 08:02 Rockford, IL

Ticks (Brad Paisley)
Comments (14)

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Marc

04/04/2007 09:26AM

Just more proof that I am the greatest undiscovered song writing talent in the world. I let Phil Spector read one of my songs, and just look what happened to his hair.

(Note: I think I saw it in a magazine, but they had put a picture of Carol Burnett next to Phil Spector, and I'll be damned if they didn't look really similar.)

Jane

04/04/2007 09:37AM

And here I thought your only undiscovered talent was the Dirty Dr. Seuss rhyming.

#1.1

Marc

04/04/2007 12:16PM

Is that a wocket in my pocket, or am I just happy to see you?

#1.1.1

culotte

Homepage

04/04/2007 09:27AM

I can just hear the follow-up hit:

"I'd like to comb through your pubic hair for crabs."

Jane

04/04/2007 09:39AM

"Let's go home and use Rid on each other, baby."

#2.1

culotte

Homepage

04/04/2007 10:13AM

"Let's pick dirt out of each other's fur like the monkeys do."

Jane

04/04/2007 12:01PM

"I want to wallow in the mud in the pig barn with you, darlin'."

#3.1

Merlie

04/04/2007 12:44PM

OMG. I have never heard of him, but he is obviously a moron.

Jane

04/04/2007 12:46PM

Brad Paisley is actually a pretty big country star. He's married to Kimberly Williams, the girl from all of the Father of the Bride movies.

#4.1

04/04/2007 03:36PM

This from the same artist that brought to the country music world Alcohol, Mud on the tires, and I'm gonna miss you. This shouldn't surprise anyone. Paisley records some more light hearted tracks at times than others. I'm sure there are a couple of other nice tracks on the album, but I predict the tick song will give it some more attention. Not saying its right though...

jas

04/05/2007 04:12PM

Honey, don't let your nits grow up to be lice....I'll pick 'em out if you pick mine....We'll be tradin' vows and critters at the same time.....

04/06/2007 08:44AM

I literally lowelled when I read the lyrics.

Jas, I think you have a hit on your hands!

sobie

04/09/2007 01:44PM

See, I think Brad's voice is dead on sexy, so I sort of just ignore the lyrics.

Kind of like my David Stremme situation, don't really think he's that good a driver (I mean, he does drive the Coors Light car), but he's just so frickin cute...

jared

04/10/2007 11:02AM

When we get there and I gaze into your eyes
I'll wanna grab yer hair, and go searchin for lice...
Don't get me wronnnng darlin, I DO wantya to hug me,
It's just, well, (spoken) shucks babe - sometimes ya bug me!

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Condoms Don't Prevent Lyme Disease

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